Understand that you are capable of dealing with all of the challenges of
life and you are worthy of happiness and success. People will give you exactly how much respect you believe you deserve, and are
willing stand up for. So don't go to the beach with a teaspoon, go with a
tanker truck. Make it a goal to understand and use this.
Barring a rare handicapped few, we are all capable. But, capable doesn't
mean that we choose to do this all the time. It's still up to you.
We are the only species that can comprehend the path that will lead us to that
which we want -and still go the other way. Can you believe someone
would do that? I see it all the time. Hell, I do it. Building your self-esteem is a fun process, but it consists of a little more
than looking into a mirror and saying, "I am a confident person" or
something similar.
- It [self-esteem] is directly affected by the choices we make in dealing with life's challenges. Social challenges, Career challenges, Love life challenges, Financial challenges, etc. Make better choices, and your self-esteem goes up. Make poor choices and it goes down.
- I'd like to borrow six main areas to focus on for making better decisions. These are listed in "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden, the leading pioneer in self-esteem. Each one is a source of self-esteem but also, at the same time, self-esteem is an outcome of each.
- I found the book very useful but one thing disturbed me. It almost seemed like he tried to complicate things by explaining them with big words and extra sentences. Or maybe it was just me. I don't know but I had to keep a dictionary and thesaurus close by. In the end I didn't care because he had provided so much value in the book.
- I will list them one by one and then give you my simplified non-textbooky description with key ideas in my words
- The main idea of this point is that you lose respect for yourself when you make decisions that aren't congruent with who and where you want to be. Somewhat similar to self-sabotage or self-betrayal.
So when we say "Live Consciously", what we mean is bring to the front of your mind what you goals are, what you have been doing to achieve them, where you currently stand, where you expect to be in a months time, etc.
The more your choices line up with who you want to be, the more self-esteem you will have. Making choices that move you in that direction requires self-examination (higher consciousness). You must constantly be asking yourself questions of whether you are taking appropriate actions that lead you to where you want to be and then follow up with more ACTIONS that do. You will feel great about yourself when you do this. Questions like these:
"Is this action moving me closer or farther away from where I want to be?"
"Where am I now compared to last month in pursuit of this goal?"
"Am I using feedback to correct my course?"
Throughout the course of your life you will make hundreds of thousands of small and large choices. You won't remember them all. But your subconscious stores them all and adds them together. And this forms a reputation that you hold of yourself. To start moving in a direction that is conducive to achieving who you want to be, you must be conscious of the choices you are making, while you are making them. (Live Consciously)
Here are a few examples of making choices that go against your ideal (self-betrayal):
"I know I want a better looking body but one more candy bar won't hurt"
"I know I should read to my children every day and I'll start soon..."
