I’d say I have fought against a low self-esteem my
entire life. My birth father left my mother and me when I was 6 months old and
I never saw nor heard from him again. My mother remarried my adopted father who
loved me and I loved him. We still do. Nevertheless, he suffered from
self-esteem issues too, and he took it out on my Mom, my sister and me. We were
all called "stupid", "dump" "idiots" for most of
my adolescent years. As a big kid, I endured many days on the playground by
being called, "fat G". Odds are you have had similar unfortunate
experiences.
Our brains record it all and our self-esteem suffers because of
it. However, you
MUST overcome these cut downs and develop a positive self-esteem and self-image
or success will always elude you. Positive self-esteem is what lifts us up
after a defeat. It is the confidence we rely upon to keep on keeping' on.
Unfortunately, many people never really master building or rebuilding their
self-esteem.
Our brains record it all and our self-esteem suffers because of
it. However, you
MUST overcome these cut downs and develop a positive self-esteem and self-image
or success will always elude you. Positive self-esteem is what lifts us up
after a defeat. It is the confidence we rely upon to keep on keeping' on.
Unfortunately, many people never really master building or rebuilding their
self-esteem.
Here
are some tips I have used that will help you get yours built back up.
Ø Use
the negative experiences you have faced as fuel to rebuild your self-esteem.
Deep down, those negative experiences can drive you to success if you use them
properly. Drop the blame, and remember the times when you were beat down as
powerful. Prove your doubters wrong; do not allow them to be proven right.
Ø When you are a master of something, it
produces confidence. The key is to master something, anything.
Learn to hit a golf ball 400 yards. Learn to play Billy Joel songs on the
piano. Get in tiptop shape via working out. Become a top-notch cold caller in
your sales career. Anything that proves that you took the time to focus on it,
skill up, and therefore master it.
Ø Do
more of what you fear most... LOTS MORE. Repetition is the mother of all skill
and the more reps you can take the more you bury the fear and move closer to
mastery the better. The key is MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF REPS. Once or twice is not
enough. You need to take lots of swings at bat. If you are terrified of
speaking, do more speaking. If you can't make a cold call, do more cold calls.
Think of this like my friend Grant Car done suggests in his book THE
10X RULE. Do everything with a factor of 10X to it.
Ø Put
yourself in locations and situations for your mastery to shine. If you have
mastered hitting a golf ball 400 years, then sign up for the company or
industry golf tournament. You know that when you arrive on the first tee box,
you will hit the ball farther than anyone, and others will be amazed.
Therefore,
your mastery will put you in a class to yourself, and people will want to be
around you and invite you to be on their team. When you start a new job on the
sales floor, be the person who can bang out 100 cold calls without blinking an
eye. This will separate you on day one from the competition, and you will be
looked at as a master. Sit at the piano when you are having drinks with clients and
start playing Piano Man. Your clients will be impressed, and your self-esteem
issue will go out the window. Invite your new date to the gym with you and let
them see how many pull ups you can do and they too will be impressed. Your
mastery must be used as constant fuel for you to continue to build or rebuild
your self-esteem. Getting great at something gives you the confidence to get
great at other things.
